Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
