Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
