the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
