im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
high people should be assigned attendants
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
