That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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