Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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