Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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