Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
