small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
