Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
