I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Randomize
