seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
