Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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