I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
