oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
