would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
