you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She's the barista slut.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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