Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
