I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
