You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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