Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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