If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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