He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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