I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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