Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
