If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
