I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
