careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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