Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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