But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
