There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
