how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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