He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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