i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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