Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
