my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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