i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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