and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I'm really busy with my period
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