I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
