So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
