he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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