What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
