u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
