Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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