Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
FUCK WHALES
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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