Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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