quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
