ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
