just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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