non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
