Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
