id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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