once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
