i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Randomize
