escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you would pick up someone in the library
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
